Selfies in Middle Age
On a recent thread in a subreddit for those of us who are over 40, a poster commented on the number of selfies that were posted lately (guilty as charged). He stated that they were a sign of vanity, and people were posting due to insecurities that come from aging. While his opinions are certainly valid, one can’t brush a broad stroke as to why people post selfies. Insecurity can be a reason, the need for validation is another one, but perhaps others are just having fun with it.
When selfies really began to take off in the early era of smart phones, I too viewed selfies with disgust. I’d see people take selfies and cynically wonder how many likes on social media they’re trying to obtain. They could be taking one at restaurant, in front of a tourist attraction, or just someplace random. Yes. I thought they were vain. I thought they were shallow, and when the selfie stick became a thing, I dreaded the direction humanity would go even further.
Then something happened. I decided to partake in some harmless selfie fun, and no longer could I hide in my ivory tower, judging those who were doing what I now did myself. I learned it was harmless fun, and to be honest, it’s almost like a time lapse collage if you take enough of them. How you look (or at least for me) at 30, won’t necessarily be the same when you’re pushing your mid-40s. There’s a bit of personal history to hold onto that either we didn’t have, or were limited to how many photos we could take due to the limitations of film when we were younger.
I believe there is an issue validation for some of us who take and post selfies. When people get to my age, life does its thing for better or worse. Kids growing up and leaving the nest, divorces, a lack of social bonds as friend groups grow smaller over the years. Some of us are trying to either rebuild our lives going into our second halves, or move our lives in a totally new direction. With the different social media and dating apps that are available, we have access to a wider net of potential friends, partners and lovers than the days before the internet.
Is there an element of vanity to selfies? Sure there is, but while I understand those who view selfies negatively, a selfie is a method of communication. Someone who commented on the post put it best when they said it’s like saying hello. Sure some of us post because we want to be told we’re still handsome or pretty, that they still got it after a divorce, or going through a lonely time, but some of us post to put a face to our words, or are having fun with it.
I believe most people are just trying to be seen, as I log into my account and delete my selfie.
